Have you ever thought that you would have a better marriage if you and your spouse were more alike?
God intentionally created men and women to be different from one another.
If your wife or husband is totally different from you, THIS IS A GOOD THING!
You and your spouses’ differences, when understood and accepted, can create balance within your relationship. But you may ask, “How can I truly understand how my spouse is different?” We have 15 standard ways that men are different from women. These are not specific to all relationship dynamics, but can serve as a great starting point for understanding your spouse better.
“Men and women are not just different physically, but are also different in how they approach issues, experience emotions, and relate to other.” - John Gray
Men are visual.
They enjoy when their wife’s physical appearance and home environment is attractive to him. Women are relational or audible meaning they have a need and appreciation of constant, two-way communication with her spouse.
Women need to be Loved. Men need Respect.
This is most appreciated when the wife is honored, given unsolicited affection, and attention. Men positively receive respect when their personal judgement and position in the home is not challenged by their spouse. Wives who allow their husbands to make decisions, refraining from repetitive commands, and not comparing him with other men are often successful at feeding their husband’s respect needs.
Men want to Conquer. Women want to Nurture.
Women tend to focus on People. Men tend to focus on Tasks.
Men tend to be bottom-line oriented. Women seem to be detailed-oriented.
Women take pride in their home as an extension of her personality. Men take pride in their career as an extension of their personality.
Men can be nomadic (locationally, relationally, career-wise, etc.). Women value security.
Women want to first talk about the problem they are facing and describe how she feels about it. Men prefer to first fix the problem and never talk about it.
When working through an issue with your spouse, men can achieve success by listening intently to their wife’s feelings without interruption and affirming that he understands how she feels when she is done speaking.
Men want acceptance. Women seek improvement.
Husband typically do not like when their wives try to improve or change their behaviors. However, it generally a women’s nature to want continual improvement within their environment.
Women tend to take things to heart. Men typically deal with challenges more impersonally.
Men usually look for some place to hide when experiencing stress or challenges. Women typically look for someone to talk to when they are stressed.
Women tend to focus on the outcome of goals.
For example “We need a new house because it will provide more space for the children.”
Men tend to focus on the performance of goals.
For example, “How are we going to pay for the new house within our current income?”
Men mistakenly offer solutions too quickly. Women offer unsolicited advice and direction.
Women generally become involved with things more easily. Men will generally stand back and evaluate before making an important decision.
Men focus on one thing at a time. Women can handle several things at one time.
The Marriage Checkup by Dr. Michael D. Moore - (Especially Part 3)